Can’t believe how well written it is, the amount of literary resources you used to immerse the reader in “the topic” IS TOO MUCH AND I FALL SHORT. There is almost nothing left that has not been covered, the number of endings is solid proof of this.

Top tier Twisted Lupine, excellent work.

Short but beautifully executed.

Man, this VN leaves the player with a lot of questions haha. I just will post one:

Is the story of the child and a porcupine, perhaps the last moments of the survivor and his wife? :(

This is the only viable interpretation I could find to this VN.

Thanks for sharing this under a libre license btw!

(2/2)

SPOILERS BELOW THIS LINE

---

Walkthrough & Summary

purpose: provide insight about what people understood from the VN, and how people play the VN.

Walkthrough
You will need to play the vn at least 8 times, there is no other way around it.

• The Routes: Stick with only one character at a time and you will get all of them.
• Bad Ending: Play like a complete asocial, do not befriend anyone. (easter egg here)
• True Ending: You need all the other endings first, then, just start the game again (DO NOT RELOAD FROM A SAVE).

My experience: In my first run I had a semi-bad ending; I tried to get to know everybody, and consequently I couldn’t be friends with anybody. I was very confused when the game closed on me hehe. (I still don’t understand why Lilith would kill the MC. O_o)

I tried one or two more times, eventually I understood that I had to stick with only one character at a time. From there, everything was on track.

Summary
WARNING: THIS STORY IS IN PROGRESS.
(*): This fact is not confirmed.

PLACES:

• Miria: The main planet where Mirians live. The Mirians are composed by diverse species like gnomes, kokri (anthro reptiles), highlanders (anthro mammalians), elfs, among others.
• Aether: Satellite of Miria, the shining citadel, kind of a heaven.
• Camille’s Mansion: The house that Camille created for herself and her companions in the Aether.
• Leviathan: Satellite of Miria, the bestial dark planet, kind of a hell. Is composed of all the Mirians that gave their soul to Lilith.
• Falador: The capital of the gnomes, the meca of techmaturgy.
• Yggdrasil: The giant tree that grew from the tomb of Camille.

KEY EVENTS

• The Crucifixion: The Mirians killed the incarnation of Camille on Miria, she resurrected.
• The Rapture: An apocalypses-like event that erased almost all the live from Miria, it came from Camille.
• The Fall of Sol: For reasons yet unknown, the lover of Camille died an incarnated on Miria.

CHARACTERS:

• Mother: The Goddess of Life, incarnated in Camille and Lilith.
• Camille: The Goddess of Time. Sister of Lilith. Protector of the Aether. Alcoholic and depressed. Tries to erase all the life from Miria because is imperfect.
• Lilith: The Goddess of Space and Flies. Sister or Camille. Governor of the Leviathan. Charismatic, quirky and comforting, but also very mysterious and philosophical. Tries to save the life of Miria.
• Sol: The lover of Camille, the first Aetherborn. He became “The Devil”.
• The Maid: Creation of Camille. She had a body made of porcelain. Escaped.
• Butler: The reincarnation of IX*, Lilith’s chosen one and her spy*, was a servant of Camille. Escaped.
• Olivia: The reincarnation of LVII, a city girl that works at Burger King.
• IX (nine): alias “Pretty Boy”, a kokri slave, kind and lover of LVII.
• LVII (fifty seven): First a kokri slave, later a nun. Strong believer of Camille. Raped and her child was taken away from her. Dead.
• CIV (one hundred four): A kokri slave, friends with IX and LVII, rebel and deeply tortured. Never gave up the hope to escape. Dead.
• Niri: A highlander (bird) that rescued IX, wife of Lapom.
• Lapom: An elf that rescued IX.
• Godsmack Korn: First a rogue soldier of the gnome army, later one of the most important inventors of Falador. Banished for using magic. Survivor of The Rapture.
• Sophie: First a half-kokri slave, and then a witch. LVII’s daughter* and Godsmack Korn wife. Survivor of The Rapture.
• Sona: Godsmack Korn and Sophie’s daughter, born deformed and transformed into a robot to save her life. Survivor of The Rapture.
• Kai: A highlander (goat) and champion of the coliseum. Lover of Lui. Ultra Fighter’s strongest warrior*. Survivor of The Rapture.
• Lui: A highlander (mouse) that died in The Rapture.
• Puck: A highlander (bear), monk and missionary of the monastery of Camille. Survivor of The Rapture.
• MC/Nobody/Hero: The reincarnation of Sol*. Appearance of an Aetherborn. Has amnesia and frequent visions of his past life with Camille.

STORY (CHRONOLOGICAL)

At the beginning there was only Mother, and Mother wished for a vessel to experience the universe.

Mother created Camille and Lilith and gave them just one commandment: “Love thy Neighbor”. Then, Mother became one with them.

(UNKOWN DATA): Who created Miria, Aether and Leviathan, and when they were created.

Camille is idealistic and believes that the creation must be pure and perfect, on the other hand, Lilith embraced the darkest parts of the creation, she believes in free will but will not waste the opportunity to trick someone and capture their soul.

But Camille couldn’t stand the ways of the mortals; when she saw their lives full of violence and hatred, it saddened her deeply.

(ASSUMPTION): Camille went to Miria as a mortal and tried to spread the words that Mother gave to her: “Love thy Neighbor”, she also said that those who believe in her cause and are righteous will live forever in the Aether with her, a place were suffering would not exist. But some Mirians didn’t want to hear their commandments, some Mirians wanted freedom.

Camille was captured and crucified, Lilith also abandoned her, and Camille died alone. Both sisters never talked to each other since.

(UNKOWN DATA): Why Lilith abandoned Camille.

Camille was buried and her tomb became the seed of the Yggdrasil, the giant tree of Miria.

Camille resurrected back on the Aether, and waited to welcome her believers.
Camille was very lonely because her sister was no longer with her, but soon enough, Sol appeared. Shortly after, the porcelain Maid was created too.

(UNKOWN DATA): The past life of the Sol.
(UNKOWN DATA): The past life of the Maid, if any.

The three lived happily in Aether, trying to fulfill all the free time. Years passed, and the long before void Aether became a Metropolis.

However, through all this time the prays of all the Mirians that had faith in Camilla were wearing out her patience.

(ASSUMPTION): Camille said that she only have the tools to help Mirians in the Aether, but Lilith is all powerful both on Leviathan and Miria, so is pretty unlikely that her sister is limited, otherwise The Rapture would not have been possible. Therefore, this means that she has decided to not interfere with the free will of the Mirians, because that would break the meaning of the promise of eternal life in Aether.

Sol tried to help Camille calm down with the ways of his father in his past life, alcohol.
Camille has the responsibility to keep the Aether pure and remove every corrupted soul, but she became alcoholic, irresponsible, irritable, useless, and in her own words: “a waste of space”.

(UNKOWN DATA): The incident with The Porcelain Maid.

Then, something happened to the porcelain Maid, something so bad that the Maid’s head was left broken wide open. Camille asked her to leave, but she didn’t want to leave, so Camille let her stay in the attic, and told Sol that she just leaved without saying goodbye.

(UNKOWN DATA): Why Sol loved the Maid.

The lost of the Maid hurt Sol a lot, and seeing Camille broken, alcoholic, and replacing the Maid with another servant like if she was nothing, didn’t help at all.

Even with alcohol, there was one particular pray that was so ugly and frequent that nothing could drown her voice, it almost brought Camille to borderline psychosis: the pray of LVII.

LVII was slaved by the gnomes, she was frequently abused and raped.
There were other kokris with her, IX and CIV, and also the young Godsmack Korn, a gnome that was helping the kokris because he couldn’t tolerate the torture they have been suffering.

These slaves were captured and transferred in the middle of a deadly cold blizzard, there IX and CIV discovered that LVII was pregnant; IX wasn’t the father, it was clear that the child was from one of the gnome soldiers, but CIV thought that this was a virgin birth, a gift from the goddess.

Still, LVII was so weak that she couldn’t make it through the blizzard. Instructions were clear: kill every slave that can’t walk. IX tried to carry her but he was also tired, his toe were cut and soon LVII would also be left behind to bleed to death, CIV had no other choice but to fight for the “miracle” of this baby.

Gnomes were killed, CIV didn’t survive, and IX beg for salvation… and only Lilith answered, his soul was captured, becoming Lilith chosen one. After some time he was back on his body and forgot everything from his previous life. Niri, Lapom and their daughter rescued him.

(UNKOWN DATA): What happened with IX after the rescue, and how he became Butler.

(ASSUMPTION): Lilith was aware of the state of Camille and the Maid, at some point she took the opportunity to insert a spy in Camille’s Mansion, converting IX into Butler, Camille’s new servant.

Back to LVII, she was rescued by Godsmack and they both managed to reach a checkpoint. LVII gave birth to her child there, but the gnomes forced Godsmack to snatch LVII’s child from her arms. LVII was devastated.

A few days later, the gnomes and kokris reached their destiny: Falador.
Probably due to the teachings of Camille, there was a growing discontent about the slaves among the gnomes, and the incident with LVII was so big that the army couldn’t take the risk.

A Colonel managed to get LVII a position as a nun in a Camille’s Monastery. Meanwhile, Godsmack was forcefully transferred to a job in the laboratories of Falador.

Years later, Godsmack bought LVII’s daughter, Sophie. But he didn’t gave it back to her mother, actually, he instructed everyone to never ever tell her about this.

(UNKOWN DATA): Why Godsmack did that to LVII.

Sophia became Godsmack’s disciple, they both were really good at their job in “techmaturgy” and the pinnacle of their work was the airship. Still, the world was becoming more hostile and more weapons were needed, Godsmack and Sophie couldn’t keep up, and they cheated: Sophie started to use magic in their inventions.

Later, Sophie became Godsmack’s wife, and they tried to have a child. Sophie brought a daughter to life and they called it Sona, but her mother wasn’t pure blood and thus Sona was born extremely deformed, she could die. With the help of magic, they made Sona into an robot.

Magic is a taboo and is prohibited by the gnomes, because magic comes from Camille, and gnomes reject everything from Camille. Godsmack was the one that was discovered using this magic, and he was banished from Faldor, and without him, salvation was lost.

(UNKOWN DATA): Why gnomes reject magic.

Lilith saw the opportunity to steal Godsmack soul and offered him a deal: his soul in exchange of protection from Camille. Godsmack rejected Lilith’s offer.

Through all this time, LVII pried like a maniac in the Monastery, she had faith more than any other, but she never saw her child again. When a new Colonel arrived in the army, he told her that her child was death. All these years, all those prays, for nothing.

Hate, resentment and the outcry for divine justice was everything that was left in LVII, she got back to the monastery, broke one of her fingers, and made a prayer that Camille could not ignore: KILL THEM ALL.

Camille saw enough, a fresh start was needed, then The Rapture happened.

Godsmack survived. Sona and Sophie survived inside Godsmack’s State. Puck survived. Kai survived but lost Lui. So far, they are the only survivors known to this day.

LVII died on this apocalypses and resurrected in the Aether, Camille went to see her personally and gave her a vessel and a new name: “Olivia”.

(ASSUMPTION): At some point in the middle of the rapture, Sol became “The Devil”. Is implied that Sol did something really bad, and for that, Camille was obligated to kill him to kept the Aether pure, but she couldn’t do it. Instead, she took Sol soul and reincarnated him back into Miria.

PRESENT

Sol reincarnated into Hero and woke up in the middle of the forest, on a strange chunk of earth. He was rescued by a now old Godsmack Korn, he gave him clothes and all the information he needed to live in the post-apocalyptic Miria, finally, he sent him to the Ruins of Falador. There our Hero knew “The Ultra Fighters”.

Lilith is aware that the Hero is on Miria, she knows who he was, and why he’s there. She tried to join him for her cause, but the Hero rejected her. Still, Lilith is far from giving up.

Meanwhile in the Aether, Camille is watching Hero trough the TV.
Butler said to her that her hat was lost, that triggered her bad mood and divine fury. Butler run but Camille found him in her room.

Camille attacked him, pocking out one of his eyes. After that brief moment of wrath, Camille realized what she did and felt deep remorse, but the damage was done.

Butler talked to Olivia and she took him out of the Mansion. They have been together after that, once lovers in their previous life, IX and LVII found love once again in Heaven.

Camille realized that Butler was gone, and she can’t hates being alone.
She went back to the attic to talk to the Porcelain Maid, she has been there waiting for CENTURIES!.

Camille took the Maid out and cleaned her, she tried to fix everything and be friends again with her, it looked like it was working!, but the porcelain Maid was only pretending.

The Maid took the first opportunity that she could find to gain her freedom and escape from the Mansion, from Aether, from existence.

Camille now is truly alone, and more broken than ever before.
Shortly after, in an emotional outburst, she killed every corrupt soul in the Aether in the blink of an eye, every single one that she didn’t kill through all these years of alcoholism. Thousands are death.

Camille takes a stance, she will prove that her mother and Lilith are wrong, that the creation can be pure and perfect, she will grow purity from their meat and bones by force if necessary.

(Will continue…)

---

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Analysis

on what I interpreted, learnt, and thought after playing this VN. (highly subjective)

purpose: improve story clarity and reduce risk of misinterpretation.

I don’t feel like this section is needed, you just can’t misinterpret this work, the story is crystal-clear.
If you know a thing or two about the religions of the world, then you can’t miss the references.
Tandrewine/mango goes hard on the subject he criticizes and parody, being a sensible topic, I’m actually impressed that there is no trigger warning.

---

---

Comments

anything goes.

This story is in fact, a web comic. I understand that in a web comic, sometimes the reader can influence the curse of the story, a lot of improvisation is needed. I must say, the story that you have here is pretty consistent despite playing on hard mode! Congratulations for that.

---

Hope this helps! ❤️

(1/2)

Full and detailed review of the VN!

+ walkthrough, summary and analysis

SPOILERS BELOW THIS LINE

Disclaimer: 
The information provided on this review is for general informational purposes only. All information on the review is provided in good faith, however I make no representation or warranty of any kind, express or implied, regarding the accuracy, adequacy, validity, reliability, availability or completeness of any information on the review.

---

Review

VN review and score (score affects the amount of stars you get in the rating).

purpose: provide constructive criticism to help the developer improve.

   Score Chart
   ===========

   [150-125] : ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐   
   [125-100] : ⭐⭐⭐⭐   
   [100-75]  : ⭐⭐⭐   
   [75-50]   : ⭐⭐   
   [50-0]    : ⭐   

VN Score: 135/150

Applies to UNSPECIFIED VERSION [2024/01/12].

Score Breakdown:

• 『Visuals』 - 15/20

  Images, videos, backgrounds, characters, drawings, animations, etc.

  • Good:
    • High Resolution.
    • Good art style.
    • Original character sprites.
    • Sprites with multiple expressions and poses (animated!).
    • Animations and transitions through all the VN.
    • Visual effects.
    • Frequent visual changes through all the VN.
    • Visuals complements the narrative.
  • Neutral:
    • Backgrounds are real life photographies, characters are drawn (looks good!).
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • Copyright Issues: Third party assets not credited.
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『GUI』 - 20/20

  Graphic user interface of the VN.

  • Good:
    • Custom dialogue box.
    • Dynamic text, rich in fonts and effects.
    • Text is legible 100% of the time.
  • Neutral:
    • Renpy default skin with minor modifications.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Sound』 - 15/20

  Music and sound effects; quality and sound design.

  • Good:
    • HQ Sound.
    • Music complements the narrative.
    • Sound effects complements the narrative.
    • Dialogue audio, custom “voices” for every character.
  • Neutral:
    • N/A
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • Copyright Issues: Third party assets not credited.
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Writing』 - 20/20

  Spelling correctness (grammar and syntax). Also, vocabulary and quality of the dialogue/prose/verse/etc.

  • Good:
    • No spelling mistakes found.
    • Average vocabulary.
    • Dialogues are consistent with the characters.
  • Neutral:
    • N/A
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Story』 - 17.5/20

  Originality, ideas, characters, worldbuilding, narrative flow and consistency in VN.

  • Good:
    • A meaning can be inferred, not just a sequence of events.
    • Hard and rich Worldbuilding, story occurs in a whole new universe.
    • Depth and diverse characters, with a lot of personality and backstory.
    • Good narrative flow management, keeps the reader interested.
    • Story is consistent (plot holes expected to be covered in future updates).
  • Neutral:
    • Based on other (religious) stories, and yet, is unpredictable and interesting.
    • Customs and traditions are from real life (combination of multiple religions).
    • Another work is needed to understand the VN.
    • Nonlinear narrative technique.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • User inconvenience: The beginning and the continuation of the VN occurs in another medium. Use of multiple mediums unjustified.
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Gameplay』 - 20/20

  About interactivity, e.g: kinetic, with choices, or higher.

  • Good:
    • Three fully functional mini-games: Fishing, Boxing, and Hamburger Making.
    • VN with choices.
    • Branched narrative, 8 different endings.
    • Achievements and Gallery!
  • Neutral:
    • ADV mode only.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Programming』 - 12.5/20

  Bugs, Crashes, Builds, Packaging, etc.

  • Good:
    • Uploaded builds for most operative systems supported by Renpy.
  • Neutral:
    • Assets where not compressed in a RPA file.
    • RPY files shipped in the final release (plain text source code).
    • Filename follows the Renpy standard.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • An ignorable exception occurred midplay. (traceback here)
      • No builds for mobile platforms (iOS/Android).
      • No versioning.
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Promotion』 - 5/20

  About the thumbnail, title, game page, metadata, tags, description, screenshots, etc.

  • Good:
    • Title: Complements the art style of the game, it might even hide a secret in the story.
  • Neutral:
    • Game Page: Generic. Can be improved with HTML code.
    • Tags: Lot’s of tags missing. Should add Furry, LGBT, Post-Apocalyptic, Fantasy, Magic, Robots, religion, renpy, and vn.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • Thumbnail: Just game title. It can be improved: add the characters, animate it, etc.
      • Metadata: Important info absent. (Engine Used, Session Duration, Languages, etc)
    • Major (-5pts)
      • Description: Story synopsis absent, lost the opportunity to grab new readers.
      • Screenshots: Absent. Unable to judge before download.
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Personal Opinion』 - 10/10

  Is fun/cute/interesting/scary/etc? Did I like it? (subjective)

  Loved every single bit of it.
  The game is a roller coaster of emotions, it just can’t be categorized in a genre, it goes from romantic to scary, from funny to philosophical, this VN has everything on it. Most of the time this goes wrong, but tandrewine (mango?) did well and that’s impressive.
  
  
  

---

Oooh impressive!, it’s actually a great way to see it. Emotion driven stories then, I’ll check it. Thank you so much.

SPOILERS BELOW

UGxheWVkIEx1bmUsIEtva28gYW5kIERlYXIgUmViZWNjYSBzbyBmYXIuIFlvdSdyZSBhbWF6aW5n ISwgSSB3aWxsIGRlZmluaXRlbHkgcGxheSBhbGwgeW91ciBWTnMuIEtva28gaXMgdmVyeSBzd2Vl dCBhbmQgbXkgZmF2b3JpdGUgYXQgdGhlIG1vbWVudCwgYnV0IFJlYmJlY2EgaXMgc28gaW50ZXJl c3RpbmchISBYRCAgTm93LCBhYm91dCB0aGF0IHNlY3JldCB2aWRlbywgdGhlIHNvdW5kIGlzIHJl YWxseSB3ZWlyZCwgSSdtIHN1cmUgdGhhdCBpdCBoaWRlcyBzb21ldGhpbmcuLi4gaG93ZXZlciwg SSBkaWQgYW4gc3BlY3RydW0gYW5hbHlzaXMgYW5kIGNvdWxkIG5vdCBmaW5kIGFueXRoaW5nISBT aG91bGQgSSB0cnkgaGFyZGVyPyBQbGVhc2UgaGVscC4gVHdUCg==

Yay thanks!

I didn’t really have a metaphor in mind when I wrote it

In my opinion, there’s almost always a purpose or something you want to tell the world, and it’s sad when that message doesn’t reach your audience, don’t you think?. The thing is, if you write a story without a metaphor or a meaning in mind, then your story can mean just about anything. You’d be impressed by how many ways a reader can interpret a story! And misinterpretation is risky, so is worth spending a bit of time on that. That’s my advice. ^^

Descent work, this is a story that the player must piece together. I will try to do that down here.

SPOILERS BELOW THIS LINE

There are five endings plus a true ending.

The morse code in the walls reads as follows:
I DONT KNOW HOW LONG ITS BEEN SENSE I MET THAT WOMAN THE WOMAN WHO MADE ME LIKE THIS I DONT KNOW HOW LONG ITS BEEN SENSE FATHR CAST ME AS IDEFB COMING A MONSTER I DONT KNOW HOW LONG I VE BEEN IN THIS BLACK PLACE A PRSON DESIGNED FOR ME BUT IT WILL BE OVER SOON SHE WILL SET ME FREE

Basically, it’s a story that the player must piece together. It goes something like this:

This is the story of the sisters of “Iseult”, “Morgan”, and their abusive father.
Morgan has a curse that turns her into a horrible monster, for that, her father banished her into a pitch black place. Iseult (probably) promised that she would get her out of there and cure her.
(Apparently) a long time passed and Iseult failed to keep her promise. Then, the father were really mad at Iseult (for unknown reasons) and banished her in the pitch black place too.
Morgan was really angry at her sister and started to chase her along the pitch black place.

In almost all the bad endings Morgan kills Iseult. In one ending Iseult kills Morgan, but she becomes the new monster. In the true ending, the sisters make an alliance to kill their father.

Wow hey, that was an experience!
I always like to comment with an interpretation of the story of the VN, when is possible.

Here, I felt like the story was about pregnancy, birth, and it’s psychological effects on humans. It makes a lot of sense! The father feels the need to provide to the child, while the mother… umm, well, play the VN and see by yourself. XD

I’m interpreting this the right way fullmontis?

Inspired on the work of Hans Christian Andersen eh? very nice.

Excellent choice of assets, you did a great work on the visual design and atmosphere, the game feels very vintage. By the way, the art of the characters is pretty original!

There are extreme consequences for those who are too greedy, even though it’s not in the original story, I respect it because it’s something a 19th century writer would definitely do hehe.

Good work!

race is the other underlying background of Lord D

Honestly, I couldn’t see that. I don’t even remember if Lord.D’s appearance is ever described hehe! Probably my mistake, perhaps I should read it again.

I used to feel like no one would really be interested in NVL-style novels

But I definitely feel more confident about it nowadays

Please do. If anything, the VN genre is a bit stuck and a lot of things are the same but recycled. The genre could use the help of novel works like yours to keep things interesting and fresh.

Thank you again so much for taking the time to read & comment!

Same, I appreciate your effort to respond.

Full and detailed review of the VN!

+ summary and analysis

SPOILERS BELOW THIS LINE

Disclaimer: 
The information provided on this review is for general informational purposes only.
All information on the review is provided in good faith, however I make no representation
or warranty of any kind, express or implied, regarding the accuracy, adequacy, validity,
reliability, availability or completeness of any information on the review.

---

Review

VN review and score (score affects the amount of stars you get in the rating).

purpose: provide constructive criticism to help the developer improve.

   Score Chart
   ===========

   [150-125] : ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐   
   [125-100] : ⭐⭐⭐⭐   
   [100-75]  : ⭐⭐⭐   
   [75-50]   : ⭐⭐   
   [50-0]    : ⭐   

VN Score: 137.5/150

Applies to version 1.0 [2023/07/29].

Score Breakdown:

• 『Visuals』 - 15/20

  Images, videos, backgrounds, characters, drawings, animations, etc.

  • Good:
    • Clever usage of asset.
    • Image complements the narrative.
    • Use of animations and transitions through all the VN.
    • Asset is credited.
  • Neutral:
    • One background.
    • Background provided by third parties.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • No character sprites. (you were allowed to include at least one)
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『GUI』 - 17.5/20

  Graphic user interface of the VN.

  • Good:
    • Original VN beginning.
    • Dynamic NVL mode, rich text.
    • Text is legible 100% of the time.
  • Neutral:
    • Renpy default skin with minor modifications.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • Important screens removed, like Credits and About.
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Sound』 - 20/20

  Music and sound effects; quality and sound design.

  • Good:
    • Clever usage of assets.
    • HQ Sound.
    • Sound communicates emotions and complements the narrative.
    • Assets are credited.
  • Neutral:
    • Assets provided by third-parties.
    • One sound effect.
    • One song.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Story』 - 20/20

  Spelling, grammar and syntax’s correctness, also, narrative flow and consistency.

  • Good:
    • Clever and authentic narrative flow.
    • Complex history in just 1000 words.
    • Consistent story.
    • Outstanding writing.
    • Complex vocabulary.
    • A meaning can be inferred, not just a sequence of events.
    • The meaning is hidden in the small details.
  • Neutral:
    • N/A
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Setting』 - 20/20

  Originality, ideas and worldbuilding in VN.

  • Good:
    • Reality combined with Fantasy.
    • Historical Fiction.
  • Neutral:
    • XVI Century.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A.
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Gameplay』 - 20/20

  About interactivity, e.g: kinetic, with choices, or higher.

  • Good:
    • Clever usage of NVL mode.
  • Neutral:
    • Kinetic Novel.
    • NVL mode only.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Programming』 - 15/20

  Builds released, correct VN execution, bugs, crashes, etc.

  • Good:
    • No bugs.
    • No crashes.
    • Uploaded builds for most supported operative systems.
    • Descriptive filenames.
  • Neutral:
    • Plain text scripts present on the game files
    • Assets were not compressed in a RPA file.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • No android version.
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Promotion』 - 20/20

  About the thumbnail, title, game page, metadata, tags, description, screenshots, etc.

  • Good:
    • Title: Rare, but it’s a hint to understand the story.
    • Description: Use of HTML. Informative and accurate.
    • Thumbnail: Eye-catching image.
    • Metadata: Filled all important info, updated.
    • Tags: Multiple accurate tags, game is easy to find.
    • Screenshots: Multiple game related images uploaded, people can judge before downloading.
  • Neutral:
    • Thumbnail: Can be animated.
    • Tags: Would add “Renpy” and “vn”.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Personal Opinion』 - 10/10

  Is fun/cute/interesting/scary/etc? Did I like it? (subjective)

  It was an interesting story.
  I had fun deciphering this one.
  
  
  

---

---

Walkthrough / Summary

if kinetic: you get a summary.

purpose: provide insight about what people understood from the VN.

else: how to get all the endings, along with a brief text about how I played the VN.

purpose: provide insight about how people play the VN.

An airborne ship reaches a mountain.
Two girls get off, a captain and a bride, and begin the ascent to the ancient temple in the mountain.
They will pray for good fortune, but the Captain is greedy and feels nothing else.

That’s why the prayer didn’t work, something went wrong.
The Captain doesn’t know what happened, but for the bride everything was clear.

The dark god did not listen, and he has spoken. Revenge is what the two of them seek.
Will the priestess respond to his call? Or will she live with the remorse of having betrayed all his beliefs, his people, and his land?

This is a VN where the big story is hidden in the small details.

---

---

Analysis

on what I interpreted, learnt, and thought after playing this VN. (highly subjective)

purpose: improve story clarity and reduce risk of misinterpretation.

A story so short and so deep that most of its meaning is behind obscure symbols and words.
I had to try harder to understand this one, here’s my attempt:

• About Ségou
  Apparently, this is a French word for some African tribe.
  That a dangerous mountain has to be climbed to pray to a dark god, reminds me of the rituals and human sacrifices of the ancient religions of the native peoples.
  
  From here, I understood what all of this was about: the Era of the French Colonial Empire.
  
  
• About Mogho Nabaa
  Another word related to an African tribe colonized by the French.
  This means the ruler of everything, the king of the empire.
  
  
• About Mossi
  Yet another African word that means “Agricultural People of Africa”, this is the way to reveal Ellie’s past: just an innocent citizen.
  
  
• About The Nameless One
  Ruler of Life, and later Ruler of Death…
  It’s a fancy way of saying that all the people and land that worshiped him is now destroyed, by none other than the people in the air fleet.
  
  Both he and Ellie seek revenge, because Ellie had faith in him, she was the priestess of this god’s temple.
  
  
• About the Wind
  It’s curious that The Nameless One talks to Ellie before she even enters the temple.
  He talked to her while she was having a hard time climbing the mountain.
  
  That makes me think… Is this the way to say that he already know her?.
  Or maybe… there is no god? it was just Ellie all along?
  
  “But what she heard, she already knew”
  
  It doesn’t matter, it’s clear that Ellie’s wishes and the dark god’s wishes are the same.
  
  
• About Syna
  The captain of the ship, the butcher captain.
  
  Is told that Ellie “was extracted from nothingness” and was protected by Syna.
  The reader must ask: why?
  
  There is a strong possibility that Syna is responsible for that “nothingness”.
  It is evident that her air fleet is connected to the war, and Ellie is nothing more than a war prisoner, an slave.
  
  “Followed Syna through a thousand battles”
  “You know exactly WHO and WHAT is grinded into dust”
  “if it weren’t for your sewing skills”
  
  Is clear that “butcher” means MURDERER.
  
  
• About Ellie
  The story constantly suggests that the relationship between Syna and Ellie is not consensual.
  
  Ellie is scared, she doesn’t want to climb the mountain, she doesn’t love Syna enough to do it.
  She really forced herself to “do her part”, but she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t forgive.
  
  What Ellie really wants is revenge for what Syna did to her home and family.
  That’s why the bride becomes the priestess of death, I think Syna is her only target.
  
  “Strike to the Hearth”
  
  
• About the Azurium
  Azurium is a word derived from Azurite, a blue rare-earth that is primarily used for pigments.
  Did you choose this color because it was the color that the french army used in the colonial era?
  
  In this VN the Azurium is an important and expensive rare “substance” for the sails and clothing of the army.
  
  Again, it is well known that Europe is scarce in materials, and gets most of it from foreign countries. Nambia (an African country) apparently has loots of Azurite.
  This was one of the main reasons (perhaps the only one) that caused the European Colonial Era, a time deeply plagued by wars.
  
  Why would Ellie eat the Azurium?:
  I don’t know, but it worked, it forced the captain to take her prisoner. Now she’s near the source of all her misery and soon will avenge all that has been lost.
  
  
• About the Air Fleet
  Airborne ships is just a way to blur the true nature of this story, we need to pay attention.
  
  “Corvett”: I interpret it to be an old French word that is no longer used and means “warship”.
  
  “Sail”: I interpret a boat propelled by the wind.
  
  “His Grace”: I interpret it to be of European origin and was commonly used to refer to a Queen or King, here the era of the monarch is established.
  
  “Sextants”: I interpret it to be a really old artifact from ancient centuries.
  
  An old warship propelled by sails with a tribute to the monarchy, reminds me once again, of the European colonial era.
  

---

---

Comments

Anything goes.

Thanks for sharing this under a libre license!

Obviusly this VN is between the limitations of a game jam, and you did very well on that regard.
I hope my review reflects this limitations, I tried not to be too strict this time.

Overall, Sylvan Disappearance keeps being your best work.
Looking forward for more VNs, you’re very good!

---

Hope this helps! ❤️

Full and detailed review of the VN!

+ summary and analysis

SPOILERS BELOW THIS LINE

Disclaimer: 
The information provided on this review is for general informational purposes only. 
All information on the review is provided in good faith, however I make no representation
or warranty of any kind, express or implied, regarding the accuracy, adequacy, validity, 
reliability, availability or completeness of any information on the review.

---

Review

VN review and score (score affects the amount of stars you get in the rating).

purpose: provide constructive criticism to help the developer improve.

   Score Chart
   ===========

   [150-125] : ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐   
   [125-100] : ⭐⭐⭐⭐   
   [100-75]  : ⭐⭐⭐   
   [75-50]   : ⭐⭐   
   [50-0]    : ⭐   

VN Score: 117.5/150

Applies to version 1.2 [2023/10/08].

Score Breakdown:

• 『Visuals』 - 15/20

  Images, videos, backgrounds, characters, drawings, animations, etc.

  • Good:
    • High Resolution.
    • Good art style.
    • Original character sprites.
    • Sprites with multiple expressions.
    • Original background edits (oil painting style).
    • Background and sprites match.
    • Images communicate emotions and complement the narrative.
    • Animations and transitions through all the VN.
    • Frequent background changes through all the VN.
    • Every single asset is credited.
  • Neutral:
    • Backgrounds provided by third parties.
    • Sprites remains in one pose.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • Different art styles on sprites for secondary characters, most are silhouettes.
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『GUI』 - 17.5/20

  Graphic user interface of the VN.

  • Good:
    • Total GUI Overhaul.
    • GUI is unique for the VN.
    • Text is legible 90% of the time.
  • Neutral:
    • N/A
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • White text briefly superposes on bright background on some Celia’s letters.
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Sound』 - 20/20

  Music and sound effects; quality and sound design.

  • Good:
    • Atmospheric sounds through all the VN.
    • Ambient music through all the VN.
    • Good sound quality and design.
    • Sound communicates emotions and complement the narrative.
    • Every single asset is credited.
  • Neutral:
    • Music and sound effects provided by third parties.
    • Music can be edited to do a perfect loop.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Story』 - 2.5/20

  Spelling, grammar and syntax’s correctness, also, narrative flow and consistency.

  • Good:
    • Outstanding narrative flow.
    • Long story that manages to keep to reader interested.
    • Use of advanced writing techniques.
    • Vocabulary above average.
    • A meaning can be inferred, it’s not just a sequence of events.
  • Neutral:
    • Unreliable narrator technique.
    • Nonlinear narrative technique.
    • In medias res technique.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • Role-play scene with Coline is long and hard to connect with the central narrative.
    • Major (-5pts)
      • Multiple spelling mistakes present (hrough | of of | guided only my the meek | want us to leave us | some the facts | she the process).
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • True ending is extremely problematic.
        
        
        

• 『Setting』 - 20/20

  Originality, ideas and worldbuilding in VN.

  • Good:
    • Rich detail in places, customs of the time, character’s life, technology, etc.
    • Depth and diverse characters.
  • Neutral:
    • XIX Century combined with modern times.
    • Historical fiction combined with fantasy.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Gameplay』 - 20/20

  About interactivity, e.g: kinetic, with choices, or higher.

  • Good:
    • Original Epistolary System.
  • Neutral:
    • Kinetic Novel.
    • Epistolary System doesn’t imply narrative branches.
    • Hybrid VN style (NVL and ADV).
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Programming』 - 12.5/20

  Builds released, correct VN execution, bugs, crashes, etc.

  • Good:
    • No bugs.
    • No crashes.
    • Uploaded builds for most supported operative systems.
    • Descriptive filenames.
    • Original Epistolary System.
    • Custom and complex credits screen. (There is even a Music Box!)
  • Neutral:
    • Plain text scripts present on the game files
    • Assets were not compressed in a RPA file.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • The extra button is disabled on all screens except the title screen.
    • Major (-5pts)
      • No android version.
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Promotion』 - 20/20

  About the thumbnail, title, game page, metadata, tags, description, screenshots, etc.

  • Good:
    • Title: Vague but eye-catching.
    • Description: Use of HTML. Informative and accurate, creates interest.
    • Thumbnail: Eye-catching image.
    • Metadata: Filled all important info and is updated.
    • Tags: Multiple accurate tags, game is easy to find.
    • Screenshots: Multiple game related images uploaded, people can judge before downloading.
  • Neutral:
    • Description: lack of trigger warnings.
    • Thumbnail: Can be animated, would add the character sprites.
    • Tags: Would add “renpy”, “VN”, and “Thriller” tag.
  • Bad:
    • Minor (-2.5pts)
      • N/A
    • Major (-5pts)
      • N/A
    • Severe (-10pts)
      • N/A
        
        
        

• 『Personal Opinion』 - 10/10

  Is fun/cute/interesting/scary/etc? Did I like it? (subjective)

  You can’t imagine how much I identify with this story, that is an major perk for any writer, being able to tell stories that other people can relate with.
  
  
  

---

---

Walkthrough / Summary

if kinetic: you get a summary.

purpose: provide insight about what people understood from the VN.

else: how to get all the endings, along with a brief text about how I played the VN.

purpose: provide insight about how people play the VN.

This is a thriller story with horror and mystery elements, with a mind blowing plot twist at the end.

All of this takes place in a village in the Montsylvestre region, where we learn about the friendship of Mirabelle Maribond and Célias Vandère. Mirabelle is a young orphaned adult who was raised by her abusive aunt, and because of this, she was out of the house most of the time. One day, while she was in the library, she met Célia, a shy girl who lived alone. The two shared an interest in stories and soon became good friends.

I must emphasize that Célia was so lonely that she would soon become extremely dependent on Mirabelle and her favorite hobby: story nights. However, Celia was not someone to be underestimated, she is much more complex than it seems at first glance. Celia is very imaginative and intelligent, and tried to write a long and complex script for a story night: “Sylvan Adventure”… that could never be played.

Célia never forgot that script, and she would make it happen at all costs.
Years passed and the game began without warning: one night, Célia disappeared with a group of children in the forest of Montsylvestre. All of them were found alive, but under strange circumstances. The children said it was all Célia’s fault, and so, her reputation was shattered, the whole town now threatens her as an outcast, and Mirabelle was not the exception.

On top of that, Mirabelle’s aunt was pressuring her to get a job. Eventually, Mirabelle decided to radically start a new life and went to a seaside city to work as a warehouse clerk for a shipping company. No goodbyes were told.

With the help of Coline (Mirabelle’s coworker with which she becomes very close and intimate), Mirabelle quickly gets used to her new life. However, Coline would not last forever…

Months later, Mirabelle began to receive letters from Montsylvestre. The ghosts of the past haunt her, she won’t escape so easily. The letters come from Célia, Martin (a doctor and friend of hers) and Louis (a young aristocrat from Montsylvestre). Mirabelle is widely informed about Célia’s state and progress during all this time, she now works in a manor as a servant and tutor of a young aristocrat. However, story night has only just begun.

After some weeks, Mirabelle is bothered by strange letters describing how Célia has gone completely mad; she has an unsettling appearance, neglects her duties, appears in strange places, and her diary is filled with strange drawings and horrifying descriptions of a woman in the forest that haunts her, along with frequent descriptions about a pond with an island full of bluebells and a church-high oak tree. Meanwhile, Célia was sending letters that said that everything was fine.

Mirabelle is deeply worried about this, but at the same time, she doesn’t trust anyone. She will have to go to the manor to know the truth. And so she does, only to find out that Célia has completely vanished from the manor, not even a single trace was found.

Everything about this feels wrong for Mirabelle, and she decides to stay in the manor.
A few days later, Mirabelle catch the young aristocrat spying on her, and one night she sees him going out of the manor in hurry. She follows him until they both reach a pond in the farthest parts of Montsylvestre. She corners Louis to spill the whole truth, and her suspicions were correct, it was all just a facade for Célia to disappear, Louis was helping her.

However, unexplainable and irrational things still kept happening: Louis was there to see Célia, but she didn’t came. They both go to the hideout were she would stay for weeks, but Célia never went there. Mirabelle had a strong hunch to go back to the pond again, only to find a boat full of bluebells, a sign that Célia was alive and succeed in all her plans.

Célia was ahead of everyone, no one could caught her.

---

---

Plot Analysis

on what I interpreted, learnt, and thought after playing this VN. (highly subjective)

purpose: improve story clarity and reduce risk of misinterpretation.

Note: Rastagong included his own inspirations and meanings of his VN, it’s unlocked after reading the VN. I highly recommend reading the Rastagong’s own explanation.

However, most of the VN are still free to interpret. Here’s my attempt:

• About the True Ending
  After reading the ending notes about the true epilogue, I can’t help but feel that this was an extremely risky way to clarify things, because 99% of the time the reader will get it wrong.
  Writer, you must understand that the plot twist in this ending is so harsh and insulting to the reader, that emotions will block any possible rational interpretation. We feel as deceived and betrayed as Mirabelle.
  After reading this ending, I only had time to think about the implications of Celia being extraordinarily intelligent and psychopathic through the eight-month curse, from putting many children at risk, to being able to predict that Martin will recommend her at the manor so that she could meet Louis, and finally, get ahead of everyone and successfully escape on that last night.
  It’s so absurd, that I truly hope that all of this is justified with huge improvisation skills.
  

• Célia’s Disappearance Plan
  I assume that everything that Célia said in the letters to Mirabelle, what she said to Louis, and wrote in the diary is fake (or at least partially fake).
  But let’s try to ignore for a moment the true ending, and interpret what Celia tried to make everyone think of her.
  In my opinion, Celia intended her disappearance to look like some kind of suicide, because she really tried to make it clear that she was very hurt by everything everyone had done to her.
  I see strong allegories about depression and suicide, for example: in the fake diary Celia exaggerated all her feelings and what others thought of her, meanwhile, when all the people saw her very sick, she dismissed it with “it’s just a cold”, a common behavior in depressed people (pretending that everything is fine). Constant late-night walks in the woods are escapism, along with being secluded in her room, are also very common behaviors among depressed people.
  Finally, when Louis played along, she told Mirabelle in one of her letters that he was a fool for being a “enabler,” because he was making Celia’s “depression” worse instead of helping her get out of the comfort zone that was hurting her so much.
  

• Célia’s Sylvan Adventure Script
  We know that the pond with the island is fictitious, therefore, it is the only part of this VN in which an effort is needed to understand the symbolism behind this literary construction.
  My interpretation here strongly complements the suicidal theory: The color of the bluebells is blue (duh), it is a color that conveys sadness according to color theory. It’s clear that the fog resembles confusion and fear, while the constant winds that stir everything up are Celia’s strong emotions dominating her. The island with many flowers andt the Oak Tree signify paradise, the afterlife. This theory is further confirmed by the fact that, in most European mythologies, the oak tree is seen as sacred. The woman in the forest who grants wishes is death, death makes everything disappear, and Celia thinks about death constantly, until it becomes too oppressive to bear; That she is underwater is a metaphor for this weight of being so useless, with the constant thoughts about suicide. The boat that goes from the creek to the island is clearly an allegory about Kharon, the boatman of the Hades (Greek mythology).

---

---

Comments

Anything goes.

Sylvian Dissaparence got a lower score than A Darkening Flood. However, this VN is by all means, superior to your previous work. Remember that the review is only meant to help you fix the issues.
Consider that this VN was dozens of times bigger, more ambitious, and a lot of new things were tried; therefore, the risk of issues growth. Things still need to be polished.

More work than mine needs to be done too.
I understand that the true ending was added in the later stages of development, when almost everything was finished. Therefore, it’s imperative to reread the entire story with this ending in mind, looking for inconsistencies that do not support this ending.

Overall, it’s a great VN and I would definitely recommend it.

---

Hope this helps! ❤️

Links Broken

Links Broken

Full and detailed review of the vn!

+ summary and analysis

SPOILERS BELOW THIS LINE

Disclaimer: 
The information provided on this review is for general informational purposes only. 
All information on the review is provided in good faith, however I make no representation
or warranty of any kind, express or implied, regarding the accuracy, adequacy, validity, 
reliability, availability or completeness of any information on the review.

---

Review

VN review and score (score affects the amount of stars you get in the rating).

purpose: provide constructive criticism to help the developer improve.

   Score Chart
   ===========

   [150-125] : ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐   
   [125-100] : ⭐⭐⭐⭐   
   [100-75]  : ⭐⭐⭐   
   [75-50]   : ⭐⭐   
   [50-0]    : ⭐   

VN Score: 135/150

Applies to version 1.3 [2017/05/04].

Score Breakdown:

• 『Visuals』 - 15/20

  Images, videos, backgrounds, characters, drawings, animations, etc.

  • Good:
    • Image edition reinforces the dark atmosphere.
    • Images are credited.
    • Frequent background changes along the gameplay.
    • Use of transitions and animations.
  • Neutral:
    • No original drawings (stock pictures used)
  • Bad:
    • (-5 points) No character sprites.
      
      
      

• 『GUI』 - 20/20

  Graphic user interface of the vn.

  • Good:
    • Text is legible 100% of the time.
    • Correct font choice.
  • Neutral:
    • Default engine skin (minor modifications).
  • Bad:
    • N/A
      
      
      

• 『Sound』 - 20/20

  Music and sound effects; quality and sound design.

  • Good:
    • Music used is adequate for the setting.
    • Outstanding sound design, atmosphere focused, feels like listening an audio book.
    • Music and sounds credited.
  • Neutral:
    • No original compositions or sound effects.
  • Bad:
    • N/A
      
      
      

• 『Story』 - 15/20

  Spelling, grammar and syntax’s correctness, also, narrative flow and consistency.

  • Good:
    • Story is consistent and logical.
    • Language complexity above average.
    • Well written dialogues, characters have personality.
    • All elements are related to the central argument.
    • Good narrative flow.
    • Good attention management. (constant clicks needed)
  • Neutral:
    • N/A
  • Bad:
    • (-5 points) Repeated words in the second half of the vn, at least in three different occasions.
      
      
      

• 『Setting』 - 20/20

  Originality, ideas and worldbuilding in vn.

  • Good:
    • Original story.
    • It is not just a sequence of events, a meaning can be inferred.
  • Neutral:
    • Alternative French Revolution. (XVII Century)
    • Lovecraft based (public domain).
  • Bad:
    • N/A
      
      
      

• 『Gameplay』 - 20/20

  About interactivity, e.g: kinetic, with choices, or higher.

  • Good:
    • N/A
  • Neutral:
    • Full kinetic novel in NVL mode.
  • Bad:
    • N/A
      
      
      

• 『Programming』 - 15/20

  Builds released, correct vn execution, bugs, crashes, etc.

  • Good:
    • Flawless experience from start to end.
    • Most operative systems supported by Renpy uploaded.
    • Good filenames.
  • Neutral:
    • N/A
  • Bad:
    • (-5 points) No android version.
      
      
      

• 『Promotion』 - 20/20

  About the thumbnail, game page, metadata, tags, description, screenshots, etc.

  • Description: Highly informative. (would add trigger warnings)
  • Thumbnail: Attractive and accurate.
  • Metadata: Fullfilled all important info.
  • Tags: Multiple and accurate, game is easy to find. (would add “renpy” and “vn” tag)
  • Screenshots: Multiple related images uploaded.
    
    
    

• 『Personal Opinion』 - 10/10

  Is fun/cute/interesting/scary/etc? Did I like it? (subjective)

  I’m biased here, I like books, libraries, old centuries, and horror. I obviously liked this story.
  
  
  

---

---

Summary

How to prove that a kinetic vn has been read and what the reader grasped? Only a summary comes to mind.

purpose: provide insight about what readers understood.

Alternative French Revolution in which large-scale demonic possession occurs among aristocrats. They were performing demonic acts and rituals for no reason, at least not one that science nor logic could find.

Serious crimes against humanity were committed, accelerating the revolution, which ended with the death sentences of many aristocrats.

A journalist saw one of these trials closely and decided to reveal the classified story of “Lord.D.”

Lord.D’s trial was on par with the trial of king of France himself, because Lord.D was the origin of all this madness, to be more specific, the origin was in a mysterious and popular library that he inherited.

VN goes to the past: (kid) Lord.D and his mother were peasants, but one day, a (real) Aristrocat of that had a mansion and library adopted Lord.D and his mother, just to have inheritors for all his assets.

Lord.D began the education to be an aristocrat, but one particular rainy night, when his parents were absent, he found that a book he was reading was covered in a sticky purple liquid. This was because all the books in the library were fake and their paper were actually entities!

The library does not like Lord.D’s presence, and the purple liquid turns into a total flood that drives him out of the place. The next morning he wakes up in his room, as if nothing had happened.

Time passes, Lord.D goes to a prestigious monastery where he suffers from impostor syndrome due to the lack of royal blood in his veins. Here he meets Henri and becomes best friends with him.

Now is Winter break, and Lord.D takes Henri to home with him. But disaster strikes Lord.D and Henri’s friendship: Henri becomes obsessed with the majestic library, perhaps VERY obsessed, even proving himself to be a worthy heir of the library.

Day passes, and the situation never improves.
Now it’s Henri’s last day in this house, and another rainy night and absent parents take over.

This time, Lord.D discovers that there is a big celebration at the library! However, as soon as he enters the library, all traces of celebration fade away and the place is immediately flooded in purple liquid again.

Next morning… as if nothing had happened again. But something actually happened, Lord.D feels jealous and betrayed, and he can’t recover from that night. He loses Henri’s friendship.

Years pass, the French Revolution takes control, Lord.D becomes depressed and escapes reality in a forest, writing and researching fairy tales. Three months later, Elliot (the mansion’s servant) summons him urgently… his parents had been executed.

Elliot reveals that the library is literally possessed to the brim, each book is an entity. Lord.D’s father was the master and kept everything under control at all times. However, with the death of the master and Lord.D’s incompetence in this matter, large-scale demonic possession takes over France.

Lord.D Trial Sentence: Died in the guillotine.

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Plot Analysis

what did I understood, learnt, and thought after playing this vn. (subjective interpretation)

purpose: improve story clarity and reduce risk of misinterpretation.

Note: Rastagong included his own explanation of his vn and it’s unlocked after reading the vn. I highly recommend reading the Rastagong’s own explanation.

For the prior, I will use this section to answer some of the developer’s questions and concerns.

>> “I doubt it was much pleasant to read”
But it was. :)

>> “style and narrative of this story aren’t really suited to the visual novel format. (…) I hope that the absence of sprites wasn’t too unsettling!”
It’s what most people expect nowadays, that’s why you lost points in my review. However, it is only a minor problem. You still have 5 stars!
In my personal opinion, this is not a problem; after all, I am an avid reader.
And you should know that the first visual novels were like that. (see Otigirisu, 1992)
Your vn only has a strong text focus and that is quite valid.

>> “I’m not sure if that I succeed in making the flood appear as an horror”
Is not (for me)… at least not the flood itself, I was afraid of the nature of the library and the type of entities that were hiding beneath it. Being a “Lovecraftian” story, I was hoping for more descriptions about these entities, perhaps even a cosmic monstrous God.

If you want the flood to be terrifying, you have to describe it more, tell us how the character suffers and feels in the middle of this flood. Unfortunately, in this vn the story is cut abruptly when the flood occurs. If you do it this way, you will leave the reader only with questions and confusion.

>> “I’m slightly uncomfortable with the development of the third part of the story.”
Yeah is noticeable that the story is faster and least descriptive here, the Journalist and Henri arc is more extended in comparison. You already told us that this part was written in hurry.

>> “I hope that I succeed in conveying this unease in the story”
Lord.D self-hatred? That’s pretty clear to me, he is very afflicted for being a peasant, his relation with the revolution, and that his Father liked Henri more.

But is it really lovecraftian?
I have read Lovecraft myself. I can identify common elements, like a main character isolated from the world and educated in a library, and also the presence of extraordinary and unexplainable events. However, Lovecraft never wrote anything about France or explored a relationship between two friends, this isn’t bad however, this is what makes the story original.
What about the style? It would be irresponsible of me to confirm or deny this, unfortunately I had only read translations of H.P Lovecraft.

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Comments

Anything goes.

N/A

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Hope this helps! ❤️

You made a whole website and a analog horror video for the game?! Now that’s what I call “increasing the customer value”!

I really like the art of this vn, the whole setting is also very appealing, outstanding work!

Now, I will share my experience and a walkthrough of the vn here, I hope that this helps you improve.

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

I watched the video and read the whole website. Alright, I’m ready!

• [1st run]: Saved Onna, avoided Ray and … got killed by Hugo?. Damn, what did I miss? the towel? it passed through the door slit! The slit was there all the time! And I never touched Hugo… or did I?

• [2nd run]: Ignored the towel request and Hugo still killed me! What did I do wrong!!! T_T

• [3rd run]: This isn’t working, maybe Hugo made it on time to my basement?, on this run I let him inside the house immediately and-… it worked? no f*cking way… Uh, ignored the alarm system, let Hugo out, got Onna out of the bathroom. Obtained 3rd ending. Wait, there are 2 others? Hmm…

• [4th run]: No way. It doesn’t matter how much time Hugo stays on the open basement, give him a towel and make him promise you a beer, then let him inside your house, save (or not) Onna, and you get the other endings. (5th is best)

• The game doesn’t follow the rules of the spores dev. That is extremely important in a game like this.

• Spores are only 4 microns; only one is enough to get infected; symptoms appear in only a few minutes; the door of the basement was broken AND in the 5th ending MC says that the sporestorm was through all night; if I get out when the alarm sounds, we will see the sunrise!. That means only one thing: we have to save Hugo almost at the end of the sporestorm, he was there for hours, without a mask.

• Is not only the serious inconsistencies, you’re rewarding players for being careless in a extremely dangerous situation.

• Sigh… despite that, is still a great vn, I had fun. Just be more careful with the consistency in a future game please. :(

I spent a lot of time working on this and it’s a big passion project so!!! If you could leave a comment or review (even negative) I would be so so so so so happy :3 I love hearing what people think!!!!!!!!!

You got it!

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

EXPERIENCE

• Allow me to be clear, I’M A FAN.

• Another flawless experience. Really cute art and a unpredictable story, full of hidden meanings!

• I got Escape ending first, I was mind-blown by the massive plot twist, and all of that just because I tried to read the book?! that was literally unpredictable!

• Some people would say that is so unpredictable that is just absurd, baseless, and badly written. How could Pudding ignore a worldwide cult? that even her own mother is a believer? even worse, that it has spread through hard-science jobs like medicine?. That’s not me though… I believe that this is not the point and I will explain below.

• And just for the record, the Tia ending is just as bizarre and confusing as the Escape ending, actually, you almost lost me there, but I got a way to interpret those events too. (Tia is cute btw)

• 3rd ending: Almost missed that! I always load from a previous save to take other routes, this one doesn’t unlock that way.

INTERPRETATION

Reminder: Interpretations are highly subjective!

• Three words: Religions are parasites.

• About everything: A tapeworm messiah, parasites, a death cult, a very dangerous book (that makes sense only after being brainwashed or hopeless), and ridiculous believes… I think all these figurative language is a strong criticism on religion. I refuse to enter in any political debate and I’ll just say that this is a pretty original way to show it.

• About the Tia ending: In my opinion, it shows how a lot of people deceive themselves in impossible fantasies and promises of a reward if they follow a cult; meanwhile, in real life, their lives only gets worse, day after day.

• About Pudding kidnapping: I would like to add that is pretty sad that there are people that takes advantage of you when you’re on your lowest points in life. Oh wait! religion and cults does that too!

• About Felic: Just another victim of indoctrination, the real bad guy of this story is the priestess on jewels, hidden behind the laptop, far away, where no one can touch her…

• On religion, there is nothing but bad endings.

• About 3rd Ending: No :)

I share the game with libre licenses because I don’t like privatizing my content

Thanks for replying!

I’m aware that I’m making interpretations with just a small fragment of the whole history, is foolish because anything can happens in the future. And by all means, please don’t spoil me the updates. XD

Still, I hope this helps you determine if there’s something to clarify, or if the story speaks correctly to the reader.

Good luck and best wishes!

I will share my experience, thoughts and interpretation of the vn here, I hope that this helps you improve!

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

EXPERIENCE

• Can’t save. T_T

• I can’t believe that this was made with the Renpy Engine, are you a genius?! is so impressive. XD

• I love the “weirdcore” aesthetic in this game, you definitely should add “Retro”, “Weird” and “Lo-fi” in the tags! Believe me when I say that I found this game just by chance. The thumbnail can be improved to attract more weirdos too. x3

• In my first route I got the bad ending. Neutral next, and finally the “Good” ending.

• I love how denying the monster nature is a bad ending, you forced me to see that I was just defending myself, and not playing by the rules of the vn, after all, I play as the monster!

• Implied suicide uh?. Should be added as a trigger in the description, just in case.

INTERPRETATION

• For me is clear that the monster is anything but human (see the basement), I don’t believe that this is a story about a psychopath cannibal. So, I just have one question: why the monster says that he is a human?, why not being human is degrading for a monster? was he really that confused? he really tried that hard?

• About everything else, the vn is pretty straightforward, you can’t miss the meaning here. Still, the subject is pretty complex and it makes you think.

• For the prior, I think that this vn is great, great work!

UNIMPORTANT REFLECTIONS BELOW, READING IS OPTIONAL

• The monster in this vn is intelligent, so are the humans. Humans never had much problems eating animals because we are convinced that they aren’t conscious, we go even beyond and deny that they have a soul! But what if something conscious has to eat something conscious? even worse, what if they understand each other?. The mental stress for these creatures would be so high, that I don’t expect them to survive as a species for long. Is unsustainable, is just not optimal.

Thanks for sharing this with free licenses!

I will share my experience, thoughts and interpretation of the vn here, I hope that this helps you improve!

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

EXPERIENCE

• Just a demo uh? please keep working on it, is a great idea, a person could write a lot on this subject.

• Writing and narrative flow could be improved…

• Your art style is very cute!

INTERPRETATION

• Alright, only the MC can’t see colors. Is some kind of mental health problem, isn’t it? I don’t believe that this is some obscure metaphor about depression though.

• Did you know about “complete achromatopsia”? It seems that the MC suffers from it, I remember some glasses that fix this.

• I understand that the MC doesn’t want to reveal that she has a disability. It’s very hard to accept this in a world that always demands the best from you.

• My interpretation is that this novel has been made to raise awareness about people with vision disabilities!

I will share my experience and thoughts of the vn here, I hope that this helps you improve!

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

• I played on the English version.

• My route: Made a team with the two other guys and spared the kids’s life, got the good ending right away.

• Played other routes too, I was impressed that it is possible to finish the task without help. Is harder, yet is very uncommon to be able to do this in a vn.

• You managed to make a different ending for every possible outcome! nice!

• The worldbulding that you did here is pretty interesting (similar to Fallout, but with enough differences). This has potential for a sequel or a spin-off in the same setting.

• For the first vn, you did pretty well!

I will share my experience and my interpretation of the vn here, I hope that this helps you improve!

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

EXPERIENCE

1. Five stars for the beautiful visuals, music, the extra effort to create animations, and the whole UI made from scratch, everything is so pretty!. Just a small opportunity for improvement: In the choice menu, the font is way to bold, is hard to read.

2. Writing: Sorry, but there are a lot of spelling, grammar and syntax mistakes, everywhere. Please remember to do some proof-reading, I’m sure someone would love to beta-tests your works too.

INTERPRETATION

Almost nothing to interpret, this vn goes straight to the point and in the harsh kind of way, but it has to be this way, because people needs to understand something…

Something very simple…

don’t kill yourself.

Alright, I will share my experience and interpretation of the vn. I hope this helps the dev!

SPOILERS BELOW

EXPERIENCE

I CAN’T SAVE! OMG! XD Anyways. Adam was pretty weird from the start, and not convincing at all, I took the zero-trust route, no doubt.

…

Big mistake, the f*cking apocalypse was outside. That escalated quickly though! It sure was hell of “unexpected”!.

Tried a different route and the result is pretty much the same, oh well, that’s a shame.

Still, nice visuals and sound design, good work!

INTERPRETATION

Is hard to tell what Adam is. Is he an angel? (christian name), i don’t get a monster or alien vibe from this, is more like a divine or diabolical punishment.

Since Adam tried to save the MC, I think this can’t come from the devil, but from God.

I don’t know what is “The Core” thought, is that god? that was my first thought.

Thanks for sharing the code with a free license!

So, I understand that the ending will tell me who I am… right?

SPOILERS AHEAD

Got the endings in this order: Lack of reason >> Confused >> Ignorance >> Absence >> True Ending.

At the Ignorance ending I already understood that the vn is just a mirror of my decisions, of my “ego”. Is not anything magical, metaphysical or philosophical, is literally just a mirror. And not only that, every time that I play again, I’m playing against my past self, my “alter-ego”.

That was pretty clever!

Got true ending, and my interpretation appears to be correct. There is only one question left, why would the MC kill himself?: my theory is that the MC blames himself for accident and the dead of the copilot, probably a loved one. But that’s just pure speculation, I would love to know if I’m right hehe!

Anyways, pretty simple but wonderful execution, nice work!

Made it!

“library of babel” by Jorge Luis Borges.

“the shadow out of time” by H.P Lovecraft.

“the library of Wan Shin Tong” in Avatar.

“apocrypha” in Skyrim.

Man I really love this setting, I definitely had to give this vn a try!

SPOILERS AHEAD

I wasn’t expecting a Rogue-like text adventure!

I love the ideas that you used in this game, the whole worldbuilding made for the library, the diversity of the zones, the building of the index, books and items that boost our stats, etc. So creative! and in 3 days! impressive, nice job.

Oh boy, the retro effects! the text animations! the total GUI overhaul! the moral of the story! the characters, they are so solid! there is so much love put in this visual novel, well done!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

My first run in this visual novel was in full paranoid mode, I didn’t give Nagi a single inch (after all, angelic girlfriends don’t fall from the sky! is to good to be true!) I admit that I had my doubts on mid story, but in the phone scene it was clear to me that I was in the right track. And I pushed the unease beyond limits and!… I picked the knife… well, sh*t.

So I had a second run, and this time a picked the scissors (the weapons are a metaphor, don’t they?).

The “wake up” ending was amazing, you managed to talk about all this hikikomori and waifu-mania topics in such an original way! I didn’t see that coming ha ha!

I will just say that “Girlfriend Simulator” is the perfect title to attract the demography of men that needs to play this game, very appreciated. :)

The art is way to adorable for a story that is so heartbreaking. Outstanding execution, well done!

SPOILERS AHEAD

my opinion when I got the chainsaw ending first:

Fea brother is dead, Niya sister is being killed for revenge. I know that Cherry and Fea are very hard to feel bad at, but let’s understand something: Accident or assassination, Fea never truly know it, and she could have gone mad an kill Niya too, but she didn’t! She took that pain for 5 whole years.

So, who is truly the bad guy of the story? I think that’s the worse part of this visual novel, that there are neither good guys nor bad guys, just… victims.

my opinion when I got the bad ending later:

Forget everything I said, I hope they rot in hell. :)

Cute art and a very nice gameplay! I love how the screen follows the mouse.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

The game escalated very quickly, the first game over caught me by surprise. (And that apartment sure is full of game overs!)

In the shelf dead the MC gets hit with some of the biggest books in literature, that made me laugh, nice detail! XD

I obviously got the bad end at first, very confused because I was very sure that I tried everything, looking for some tool to make the dial on the safe move.

It is really hard to figure out how to get out of the apartment by yourself, to be honest, I couldn’t do it without reading the hints in the comments. :(

SOLUTION HINT: The order in which you die is important.

Alright, this is quite nice. Small but very interesting and weird, the 3D renders really adds value to the experience!

SPOILERS AHEAD

An unreliable narrator (the consciousness?), de-realization, de-personalization, can’t remember anything, and can’t see faces. The MC of this visual novel is obviously mentally ill! maybe a high level of dementia.

However, I can’t explain the fake entrance of the building, it makes me think of a completely different interpretation:

The MC has been kidnapped and forced to live this way by the Narrator, who constantly gas-light the MC to ignore everything that is off.

Who knows.

Just what I was expecting from a game of the “not a X” genre. Something mysterious is hiding behind the facade of “nothing”.

So, I will post everything that I could find in an effort to clarify the mystery behind this game. Help is appreciated!

SPOILERS AHEAD

Alright. On the surface there is only a quiz with general culture questions. Answer wrong and the game will close. With each question, the game becomes weirder and the questions harder. “Narrator” wants you to fail and give up, so keep the browser open and arm yourself with patience, you will need it.

Is fair to say that I couldn’t go beyond question 12, it appears to be impossible.

So, anyways, I tested all the possible options, and…

BIGGER SPOILERS AHEAD

BE WARNED, READ THIS AND THE GAME IS LITERALLY RUINED FOR YOU

1. Some of the bad answers hide a secret!
2. Answer “0” on the alphabet question and the “Narrator” is killed (by Tom?), you will know “Loading” character.
3. With “Loading”, you answer a different quiz. Be mean and “Loading” is killed (Ear-rape), be “nice” and he will go mad.
4. Answer “Red” in the rainbow question and you will trigger a fake-glitch. You will know the “Error” character here.
5. Nothing happens here, Tom gets eyes here for some reason though.
6. Answer “5” in the communication question and you will get another Ear-rape. X_x
7. What is the code “21-19-5-12-5-19-19” for? I don’t know.

ULTIMATE SPOILER

YOU CANNOT EVEN COMPREHEND HOW THIS WILL RUIN YOUR RUN, STOP IT!!!

If you go to the main menu mid-game and start again, you will find another fake glitch and some meta-lore about the past of this game. You will know one of the characters of this failed “dating simulator” game. (More Ear-rape) You will know that “Narrator” and “Tom” are not the same person. You will also know “Speaker”, besides “Loading Screen”, and “Error” “Narrator” wants to kill the player (You). But “Speaker” and “Loading Screen” are good, they save you.

After this, you literally can’t restart the game, a black square that “beeps” is everything that is left. (Maybe something happens if you click it a billion times?)

Just reload from a previous save :)

HYPER SPOILER x9000

Are you sure that you want to read this?

Are you sure that there is nothing else that you can’t do?

1. Tom talks with you in some hidden text files inside the “game” folder. He reveals that he causes some of the glitches.
2. But is not so simple, Tom also tries to warn you about something or someone (he couldn’t finish).
3. There is a new character here, his name is “Null”.

CONCLUSION

So much for a visual novel about “nothing”!

There are a few grammar mistakes here and there, MSPaint art, annoying sounds and no music. Could be better but is not boring, at least.

Still, I couldn’t solve the mystery, I bet that there are more things hidden, maybe in the files of the game, maybe in the assets, I didn’t want to de-compile it.

Please post more findings if you can!